M A R U J A

"DEAR MAMA,

They save lives. They get intimate in the on-call room. They
experience love, death, laughter and tears, sometimes all in the same day. Hooked na ako sa Grey’s Anatomy na to. I’ve seen the season 1 and 2 at di ko na napigilan sarili ko…naghanap na talaga ako kanina ng season 3 copy.  at eto…nakabili din  ako kanina. yipeee!

thank u vic, for  the books that u sent for me, kevin and
keziah. we will cherish this stuff for lifetime.

 Parang basketball daw ang pag
ibig… dapat give and take ang laro.
syempre,  someone wins, and someone loses. ganon
din naman sa love di ba? laging merong nagmamahal ng higit sa isa. at yung isa
laging humahabol. minsan may fouls kasi minsan nagkakasakitan na. no
relationship is perfect kaya allowed ka hanggang 6 fouls. kaso pag fouled out
ka na, kelangan mo ng humanap ng ibang kalaro. masyado mo na kasing ‘
hinaharass ‘ yung kalaro mo. ganun nga siguro talaga… pag naghahanap ka naman
ng isang kalaro na ayaw makipaglaro sa yo, para kang nagmamahal sa isang tao na
di ka mahal. pag meron naman dyan na isinasali ka sa laro na ayaw mo, para kang
hinahabol ng isang tao na di mo naman mahal. pero di ba mas mahirap pag pareho
ninyong gustong maglaro kaso di na pwede kasi yung isa sa inyo e may kalaro na
o kaya pareho kayong may kalaro na? hay naku… eh sino ba yung referee? ahh..
yung mga kaibigan mo na minsan pilit na pinaghihiwalay kayo. swerte mo kapag
kakampi mo yung referee. kasi di ka niya tatawagan ng fouls. kaso yung kalaro
mo naman… hurting inside na eh di mo pa alam. ang hirap intindihin no?
complicated… para nga talagang basketball ang love. pero siguro dapat natin
tandaan..  wag na wag lilipat sa ibang court kapag may kalaro ka pa sa
court mo. mahirap mag double play. isa lang ang katawan mo. mahirap maglaro sa
dalawang court. dapat stick to one ka lang. o di ba. mas maayos ang game.
Hmmmn… kelan kaya makakahanap ng kalaro na di mang-iiwan sa court?

loving or simply being close to
someone is like allowing yourself to be hurt in the end, to feel pain and to
cry. one runs the risk of crying a bit if one allows oneself to be tamed.

it is good to love or to tame and
be tamed.  It is more meaningful to become emotionally attached to another
even though there’s the chance that you would lose the one you tamed or the one
who tamed you.  it would all be worth the risk.  the experiences that
you had with the other would be appreciated and remembered together with the
things that remind you of that person.  to have met someone so unique,
someone who changed you and touched your life in such a special way was what
matters.

having relationships with someone
in whatever degree or level, whether you wanted it to happen or you least
expected it, take the chance, grab it.  that person made an impact on you
and that person filled the emptiness in you, at some point you were
happy.things may be better or it may be worst, either the relationship will
last or the relationship will end, you may end up alone, hurt and crying but at
least at one point in your life, you were able to meet such person and be happy
and that was what mattered most. 

sometimes there are things that we
refuse to do simply because we are scared of being hurt.  you might have
had your heart broken by someone but always remember no two people are
alike.  its not that easy to find someone who could make you smile.
Don’t deny yourself of getting close to someone, of loving someone or caring
for someone because it will hurt more to look back and realize that it also could
have been your only happiness.

tender feelings allow solace and
refuge from the harshness of the world, who can refuse a shoulder or a hug? love
can also mean a shoulder to cry on when our burdens become too heavy to bear
alone.  a good partnership also means being able to love "in spite
of."  we all have unlovable traits and a true lover can look past
these and love even when they don’t deserve it or even when we don’t deserve it.

Sa totoo lang, you have done me a favor. You
let me realized that you are not the right man for me and in a cowardly manner
you have let me know that immediately…rather than stringing me along for
longer time.

Oo naman, abandonment always hurt. It
happens to everybody. And i’m not exempted. But im a woman…a grown up woman
and definitely i’ll get over this. Di naman bago to sa akin…i’ve been
abandoned for the nth time…so what’s new?

Depressed na kung depressed. Pabalik balik ang panghihina ng loob at katawan ko pero alam ko na
kelangan pagdaanan ko to. Ika nga proseso eto patungo sa healing. Tao lang po at nanghihina din ako. One of this days
malalampasan ko rin to. Soon I have to get up, shake off and fight for life. And once
again i will remind myself of what i have to offer, of what makes me special. I
know that if somebody with my fine qualities exists, surely a man with the good
taste to love will appreciate that i exist.

Kelangan itatak ko na naman sa sentido kumon
ko to: The world is full of much better men than the toad who let me down
wherein i almost hit the bottom and lost myself again. And every rejection i
face is a step toward the right man, the one who’s truly worthy of myself and
will add to my  happiness. Pakingsyet! ang drama ng ate!