M A R U J A

KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw….

"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, ‘yung
katiwala niyo sa
bahay-bakasyunan niyo."

"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano’t napatawag ka? May
problema ba?

"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na
namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."

"’Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? ‘Yung nanalo sa
bird show?

"Opo, Master Carlos, ‘yun na nga po."

"Putris … sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa
ibong ‘yon. Hay,
buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"

"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne…."

"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang
nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"

"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay
na kabayo."

"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr
Arnaldo?"

"E, ‘yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir.
Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."

"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng
tubbbiiiiggggg?"

"’Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."

"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman ‘yang pinagsasasabi
mo?"

"’Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo…. Tumumba po
‘yung isang
nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab ‘yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy…."

"Ano? Puuut…. E, may kuryente naman diyan sa
bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan ‘yung kandila?"

"Para sa burol po."

"Ano? Kaninong burol?

"Sa nanay n’yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito
nu’ng isang gabi,
walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate.
But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it’s your stupidity.

I was born intelligent,
education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect…
But nobody’s perfect…
so why practice?!

If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything,
There’s Mastercard and Visa.

One should love animals,
they are so tasty.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing life.

The wise never marry,
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

"Your future depends on your dreams."
So go to sleep.

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning.

"Hard work never killed anybody."
But why take the risk.

"Work fascinates me."
I can look at it for hours.

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget.
The more you forget, the less you know.
So… why learn?

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station…
what more can I say?

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don’t, she says u are PROUD.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than her, she’ll lose FACE;
If she’s Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don’t Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u .(very true huh?)
If u don’t make love with her., she says! u don’t Love her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don’t, she says that u don’t TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it’s LUCK;
If she does WELL, it’s BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!

• Don’t think in terms of forever. Think of now, and forever will take care of itself.
• Grow up together constantly.
• Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your
  relationships.  Lasting relationships don’t just happen, they are
  created.
• Recognize that all relationships
  cannot be forever.  Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to
  act as if they are permanent.
• Respect the
  other person’s relationship apart from you.  If they are important to
  the one you care about, they should be important to you.
• Never idealize others.  They will never live up to your expectations.
• Take your time
• Remove price tags from people.  Everyone has worth; the excitement lies in the discovery of their value.
• Don’t be afraid of giving.  You can never give too much, if your giving willingly.
• Don’t feel as if you are required to spend your every waking hour with
  those you love.  Move aside from time to time and allow them to
  separate space, too.
• Never force anyone to do anything from you "in the name of love."  Love is not to be bargained for.
• Don’t be afraid
• Don’t over analyze your relationships.
• Realize that you always have
  choices.  It’s up to you.
• Remember that a relationship is a pooling of resources.  That means
  that with each relationship you are not only giving , you are becoming
  more.
• Don’t allow experience to harden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.
• Don’t smother each other.  No one can grow in shade.
• Don’t lose touch with the craziness in you.  This with large dose of
  caring, will assure that your relationship will never be boring.
• Don’t brood.  Get on with living and loving.  You don’t have forever.
• Don’t hold on to anger, hurt or pain.  They steal your energy and keep you from love.
• Always start a relationship by asking:  Do i have ulterior motives of
  wanting to relate to this person?  Is my caring conditional?  Am i
  trying to escape something?  Am i planning to change the person?  Do i
  need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in myself?  If
  your answer to any of these questions is "YES", leave the person
  alone.  He or she is better off without you.
• There are times when you may want to give up on a relationship, but never give up on relating.
• Keep the child in you alive and playing.
• See people as good and beautiful, even when they seem to be trying hard not to appear so.
• If you take time to talk together each day you’ll never become  strangers.
• Divorce, fighting, arguing, will never solve your problems; better to try understanding, warmth and flexibility.
• Value yourself.  The people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes.
• Stop going through life in self-pity, self-blame and the "meaculpa" syndrome.  We are not as bad as we think.
• Before you form a relationship, ask yourself if there are things about
  the other that you can’t stand.  If there are, ask yourself if you
  would be able to live with these things forever.  If the answer is
  "NO", then leave it alone.
• Write down all the reasons why you love each person you relate with.
  Then when the going gets tough, take the list out and reread it.  It
  resolves problems quickly.
• Don’t make the other’s problems yours.  It only makes solving it twice as difficult.
• Don’t be afraid of disagreements and arguments.  The only people who
  don’t argue are people who don’t care or are dead.  In fact , don’t
  have short arguments.  Make certain they are thoroughly over and done
  with.
• After an argument is over, forget it.
• Don’t take yourself so seriously, but never fail to take the other person seriously.
• Don’t become involved in petiness, ego and childish hurts.  THese will
  only serve to degrade your relationships and prevent closeness.
• Watch for little irritations, they grow with distructive monsters.  Verbalize them at once.
• Let go of pride.  It is usually false, creates barriers and create closeness.
• Acknowledge the humaness of the other.
• Keep examining the nature of each of your relationships for they are
  dynamic, not static, and are, therefore, changing for better or for worse.
• Exercise feelings.  Feelings have meaning only as they are expressed in action.
• Increase tenderness and intimacy.  They are a powerful source of nourishment to relationships.
• Be comapassionate.  It is the sure way to understanding and acceptance.
• See all criticism as positive for it leads to self-evaluation.  You are
  always free to reject it if it is unfair or does not apply.
• Learn to listen.  You don’t hear anything from hearing yourself talk.
• Stop all the worry.  Most of what you are worried about you’ll have difficulty remembering a week later.
• Expect what is reasonable , not what is perfect.
• If each partner in a relationship is willing to give 75% of him or her
  self, then you will have 50% more than you need for a perfect
  relationship.
• Since love can be created, there is no reason to be loveless.
• Don’t allow anyone to put you on a pedestal.  It’s too easy to fall off.
• Don’t be concerned about what you can get from a relationship.  Instead, concern yourself with what you can bring to it.
• Stop playing games, a growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.
• Even though you only half a relationship, you must remain a whole person, apart from the relationship.
• What a grand feeling to have a relationship with someone who is loved not only by you, but by many.  That means you’ve
  made a good choice.
• The creating of anything worthwhile takes patience and energy.
• Forming a good relationship takes a lot of looking.  But looking can be fun.
• Remember that moral and spiritual values don’t restrict, they protect.
• Keep laughing.  It excercises your heart and protects you from cardiac problems.
• Relationships are not sporting events.  Stop wrestling for a control.
  No one ever wins this kind of match except divirce lawyers.
• Perhaps it is not too bad to do some things you’d rather not if it makes another happy.
• What you learn about yourself will infinitely help in trying to understand others.
• See problems as small miracles which can
  bring out knowledge and change.
• Even though maintaining your integrity as a person, strive to make
  yourself one with another.  You can do this best if you can make each
  one THE ONE.
• Don’t fall in love with love, you’ll drown in its complexities.
• Be polite.  Love does not give license for rudeness.
• You are at the center of all your relationships, therefore you are
  responsible of your self-esteem, growth, happiness and your
  fulfillment.  Don’t expect the other person to bring you these things.
  You must live as if you are alone and others are the gifts offered to
  help you to enrich your life.
• When you get angry with someone it might be well to stop and consider all the things you like about them before you respond.
• Don’t allow your
  relationships to die or neglect.

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Posted on on June 11th, 2006 in Uncategorized | No Comments »