Archive for March, 2006


MEN NEVER LISTEN!


On a flight to Chicago a gentleman had made several attempts to get
into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight
attendant noticed his predicament.

"Sir," she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn’t resist.

He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men’s restrooms don’t have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff
caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this
unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn’t wait to push the red ATR  button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as soon as he opened his eyes.  A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.

"What happened?" he exclaimed.

"You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse. "The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover.  Your penis is under your pillow." 

Men Never Listen!

WhY WOMEN CrY

A little boy asked
his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I’m a woman," she told
him. "I don’t understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does
mother seem to cry for no reason?"  "All women cry for no reason," was
all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still
wondering why women cry.  Finally he put in a call to God. When God got
on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God
said:
"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her
shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle
enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure
childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I
gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up,
and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without
complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any
and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I
gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from
his rib to protehis heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good
husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve
to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to
shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see
my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the
figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a
woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the
place where love resides." 

HaVe U BeEn ThiS TirEd?

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U  L  A  N

Naaalala mo pa ba ang simula? Hindi na.

Gaano man kahiwaga, ang simula ay nalilimot,nawawalan ng saysay dahil sa napipintong katapusan.

Makabubuti lamang ang pag-uungkat sa nakaraan kung may bukas na yayapos sa iyo upang pawiin ang pangamba.

Dahil kung wala, ang tanging magagawa ng simula ay ipaalala ang simula ng wakas.

Simulan mo kaya sa dahilan?  Hindi rin pwede.

Ang pinanghahawakan
mo lang ay ang
sino, ano, saan at kailan.

Sadyang mailap ang bakit;  may mga
bagay na habang pilit iniintindi ay lalong nagiging mahirap maunawaan.

O baka
naman nasa harap mo na ang sagot. Ayaw mo lang itong paniwalaan kaya’t pilit
mong isinasantabi ang tanong na bumabagabag sa iyo.

Hindi mo masisisi ang iyong
sarili. Mahirap tanggapin na ang mga katotohanang nagpasaya sa mga araw mo ay
pananakit na rin.

Kung gayon, bakit hindi mo simulan sa ulan? Sa ulang hindi
mo naman hiniling at dumating sa panahong hindi mo inaasahan.

Sa ulang
nagpakita sa iyong maaari kang tumingala sa langit at tumayo sa gitna ng
kalsada, habang nilulunod ng mga patak ng tubig ang iyong kasuotan at mga
gamit.

Tama. Sa ulan. Binago ka ng ulan. Itinuro sa iyo ng ulan na
ang mga tao sa buhay mo ay darating at aalis kung kailan nila gusto. Wala kang
magagawa. Hindi mo sila mapipilit na manatili. Hindi mo sila mapipigilang
lumisan.

Titila ang bawat ulan. Hindi nito sasabihin kung kailan,
pero mararamdaman mo ang paglumanay ng hangin at ang paghawi ng mga ulap.

Ang maiiwan ay ikaw… at isang puwang.

Ang pangungulila ay hindi nag-uugat sa paglisan, kundi sa
pamamaalam. Ang isang taong pinahahalagahan mo ay maaaring magpaalam nang hindi
umaalis, subalit maaari rin siyang umalis nang hindi nagpapaalam.

Paunti-unti.
Dahan-dahan. Patuloy ang pagtakbo ng buhay sa kanya, habang sa iyo, dumarating
sa bawat araw ang kapiraso ng wakas.

Minsan tuloy, naiisip mong mas maigi pang matapos na lang
ang lahat sa simula. Nang sa gayon, walang pinagkatagu-tagong text message na
kailangang burahin, walang mga sandaling dapat ibaon sa limot at walang puwang
na palalalimin ng pangungulila.

Nakapapagod maghintay kung kailan muling mapupunan ang
puwang na tanging ikaw ang nakadarama. Mas madali itong pag-ipunan ng galit at
pagkamuhi.

Pero hindi mo gagawin iyon. Hahayaan mo lang na dumaloy sa
iyong pisngi ang mga luha at kahuli- hulihang patak ng ulan. Alinman ang unang
maubos, ikaw ay patuloy na tatayo sa gitna ng daan.

Maghihintay. Aasa.

Dahil kahit maging balewala ka na sa isang tao, mananatili
siyang importante sa iyo.

 

 

… sometimes i keep my silence rather than let the world see me battered with my own emotions.

BUHAY PAG IBIG (galing Gmail ko)

Yung ibang tao, naiinggit. Wala kasing nagmamahal sa kanila. Yung iba naman, tatanga-tanga! Minamahal
na nga nang todo, binabalewala lang! Alam mo, swerte ka sana kaso tatanga-tanga
lang!

Minsan na kong
nagmahal, minsan na kong naloko. Minsan na nga lang, naagaw pa! Pero di bale!
Mas bagay naman sila, eh. Isang basura, isang basurera. Perfect match, diba?

Nung iniwan mo ko, ikaw ang sinisi ko kung bakit ako lubos na nasaktan. Mahal kasi kita pero di mo ko maintindihan. Ngayon salamat, ha?
Kasi kung di mo ko iniwan, hindi ko siya matatagpuan.

Sometimes you tend to be in despair when your loved one doesn’t love you
back. But don’t worry, don’t cry much. Just close your eyes and whisper,
"Mahal din ako nun. Pakipot lang."
<!–
D(["mb","

\n

\n

 When you ran, I chase you. You \n told me to stop following you. When I stopped, you got mad! Aminin mo na. In \n love ka rin sa kin, no?

\n

\n

 If you ever find someone better, \n funnier or nicer than me, go ahead, hindi kita pipigilan. Pero pag iniwan ka \n ng gagong yun, tingin ka lang sa likod mo. Nandun ako, nang-aasar sayo, \n "Better than me pala, ha?"
 
Lagi ka na lang may rason. \n Nakalimutan mong tumawag, nakalimutan mong magtext, nakalimutan mong \n magpaalam. Pero ingat ka, ha? Baka pag naalala mong mahal mo ko, nakalimutan \n na kita.
 
Pag nakita mo na masaya ang mahal mo sa piling ng iba, \n wag kang malungkot o umiyak. Isipin mo na lang na masaya siya dahil mukhang \n clown ang kasama niya.
 
If I see you flirting with others, I \n won\'t cry. Instead I\'ll stand in
 front of you, chin up, stomach in, \n chest out at sabay sabi, "Mas
 masarap akong magmahal diyan. \n
Sana wag mong \n pagsisihan!"
 
Kapag ikaw ang iniyakan ng lalaki, ang swerte mo \n dahil mahal ka nga niya! Pero pag ikaw ang umiyak dahil lang sa kanya, di ka \n lang malas, tanga ka pa! Lalaki lang yan, pwede ba?
 
Minsan lang \n magmahal ang pusong tanga. Niloko pa! Subukan
 kaya niya ang \n magmahal at lokohin din siya? Nang masabi niyang,"GOSH! Masakit \n pala!"
 
Nagkita kami ng ex mo kanina. Nalaman niyang tayo na. \n Pinagmasdan niya ko at bigla siyang tumawa. Sabay sabi, "Pang-ilan ka? Ako \n kasi yung una!" Sagot ko, "Una ka nga, ako naman ang last \n niya!"

 When you love, don\'t give your 100%. Leave at least 70% \n for yourself so if ever he\'ll hurt you, you could still stand up to him and \n say, "Wala na bang mas sasakit pa diyan? Sus, walang \n kwenta!"",1]
);

//–>

When you ran, I chase you. You told me to stop following you. When I
stopped, you got mad! Aminin mo na. In love ka rin sa kin, no?

If you ever find someone better, funnier or nicer than me, go ahead,
hindi kita pipigilan. Pero pag iniwan ka ng gagang yun, tingin ka lang sa likod
mo. Nandun ako, nang-aasar sayo, "Better than me pala, ha?"

Lagi ka na lang may rason. Nakalimutan mong tumawag, nakalimutan mong magtext,
nakalimutan mong magpaalam. Pero
ingat ka, ha? Baka pag naalala mong mahal mo ko, nakalimutan na kita.

Pag nakita mo na masaya ang mahal mo sa piling ng iba, wag kang malungkot o
umiyak. Isipin mo na lang na masaya siya dahil mukhang clown ang kasama niya.

If I see you flirting with others, I won’t cry. Instead I’ll stand in front of you, chin up, stomach in, chest out at sabay sabi, "Sana
wag mong pagsisihan!" Mas masarap akong magmahal diyan.

Kapag ikaw ang iniyakan ng lalaki, ang swerte mo dahil mahal ka nga niya! Pero
pag ikaw ang umiyak dahil lang sa kanya, di ka lang malas, tanga ka pa! Lalaki
lang yan, pwede ba?

Minsan lang magmahal ang pusong tanga. Niloko pa! Subukan kaya niya ang magmahal at lokohin din siya? Nang masabi
niyang,"GOSH! Masakit pala!"

Nagkita kami ng ex mo kanina. Nalaman niyang tayo na. Pinagmasdan niya ko at
bigla siyang tumawa. Sabay sabi, "Pang-ilan ka? Ako kasi yung una!"
Sagot ko, "Una ka nga, ako naman ang last niya!"

When you love, don’t give your 100%. Leave at least 70% for yourself so
if ever he’ll hurt you, you could still stand up to him and say, "Wala na
bang mas sasakit pa diyan? Sus, walang kwenta!"
<!–
D(["mb","

 If someone leaves you, don\'t dare cry. Just smile and \n be happy. Pero bago mo siya tuluyang palayain, ibulong mo to sa kanya, \n "Maganda ako. Pasalamat ka pinatulan kita!"
 
Before, hinahabol \n kita pero di mo ako pinapansin. Tapos isang araw nawala ako, hinanap mo ako \n at tinanong, "Bakit ka nagsawa?" Ngumiti ako, "Hindi ako nagsawa. Natauhan \n lang."

\n

\n

 Pwede mo kong lokohin pero wag \n kang magpapahuli sakin. Pwede mo kong palitan pero siguraduhin mong mas \n mahal mo siya sakin. Pwede mo kong iwan pero siguraduhin mong kaya mo. Kasi \n pag ako sobrang nasaktan, wala ka
 nang \n babalikan.

 Boys? Pag trip ka, magpapakilala. Kaibigan kuno \n hanggang pumorma na. Tapos pag nahulog ka na, ayun, goodbye na dahil sawa na \n sila. Pero dapat walang iiyak ha dahil ... anong silbi ng \n karma?
 
I fell in love and got hurt but I didn\'t shed too much \n tears nor did I ask him to love me again. Instead, I stood up proudly and \n said, "Ganyan talaga ang magaganda! Hindi bagay sa \n tanga!"
 
Simple lang para \n hindi ka masaktan. Kapag minahal ka, mahalin mo din. Kapag ginago ka, \n gaguhin mo rin. Pero kapag umiyak ka, tanga ka! Ginago ka na nga, iiyakan mo \n pa?

\n

\n\n \n\n\n

\n

\n SPONSORED LINKS\n

\n

\n
\n
\n ",1]
);

//–>

If someone leaves you, don’t dare cry. Just smile and be happy. Pero bago
mo siya tuluyang palayain, ibulong mo to sa kanya, "Maganda ako. Pasalamat ka pinatulan kita!"

Before, hinahabol kita pero di mo ako pinapansin. Tapos isang araw
nawala ako, hinanap mo ako at tinanong, "Bakit ka nagsawa?" Ngumiti
ako, "Hindi ako nagsawa. Natauhan lang."

Pwede mo kong lokohin pero wag kang magpapahuli sakin. Pwede mo kong
palitan pero siguraduhin mong mas mahal mo siya sakin. Pwede mo kong iwan pero
siguraduhin mong kaya mo. Kasi pag ako sobrang nasaktan, wala ka nang babalikan.

Boys? Pag trip ka, magpapakilala. Kaibigan kuno hanggang pumorma na.
Tapos pag nahulog ka na, ayun, goodbye na dahil sawa na sila. Pero dapat walang
iiyak ha dahil … anong silbi ng karma?

I fell in love and got hurt but I didn’t shed too much tears nor did I ask him
to love me again. Instead, I stood up proudly and said, "Ganyan talaga ang
magaganda! Hindi bagay sa tanga!"

Simple lang para hindi ka masaktan. Kapag minahal ka, mahalin mo din.
Kapag ginago ka, gaguhin mo rin.
Pero kapag umiyak ka, tanga ka! Ginago ka na
nga, iiyakan mo pa?

   

 

Cellphone


…i gave my phonebook a major overhaul and discarded the names of people who take me for granted.

90% oF WhAt YoU ArE LoOkInG FoR

Adultery happens
when you start looking for what you don’t have.

"Wow,this girl in my office
is a real looker. I’m crazy about her because she’s also understanding, intelligent, tender
- so many things that my spouse is not."

Somewhere along the way, you’ll find a
woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer.
Have greater sex
appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than
your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect Because a spouse will only
have 90% of what you’re
looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 10%. Let’s say
your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a
cherry<!–
D(["mb"," laughter. Or \nbecause your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall \nfor a fresh-smelling young \nsales representative that visits your office in a sharp black \nblazer, high heels, and \na red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a \nbeat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show \nhost.

But wait! That\'s only 10% of \nwhat you don\'t have. Don\'t throw away the 90% that you already have! Add to \nyour spouse\'s 90% the 100% that \nrepresents all the years that you have been with each other. The \nstorms you have \nweathered together. The unforgettable \nmoments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have \nmade to love the other. \nThe wealth of memories that you\'ve accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you \nstart looking for what you don\'t have. But \nfaithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But \nI\'m not just talking about marriage. I\'m \ntalking about life! About your",1]
);

//–> laughter. Or
because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall
for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black
blazer, high heels, and
a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a
beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show
host.

But wait! That’s only 10% of
what you don’t have. Don’t throw away the 90% that you already have!
Add to
your spouse’s 90% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The
storms you have
weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have
made to love the other.
The wealth of memories that you’ve accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you
start looking for what you don’t have.  But
faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But
I’m not just talking about marriage. I’m
talking about life! About your<!–
D(["mb"," \njobs. \nAbout your friends. About your children. About your \nlifestyles.
\n

\n

\n

Are you like the economy \nairline?

The main message:

If you start appreciating what you have \nright now, wherever you are is FIRST \nCLASS!

\n\n \n\n\n

\n

\n SPONSORED LINKS\n

\n

\n
\n

\n

\n

\n Entertainment new york\n \n Satellite radio\n \n ",1]
);

//–> jobs. About your friends. About your children. About your
lifestyles. 

Are you like the economy
airline?


The main message:

If you start appreciating what you have
right now, wherever you are is FIRST
CLASS!

KeZiAh tUrNeD 10

Daughter

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Collage1_1

I love that you are my daughter
and my friend,
and that I have you in my life…

Thanks for being the daughter
I always wanted…
I couldn’t have asked for a better one…
I love you so much. Happy Birthday Sweet Child of Mine.

p.s.
pramis, pag naka delihensya si mader mo…lalabas at mag se-selebreyt din tayo, palangga ko. sensya na muna ha?

GiRLs, GiRLs, GiRLs!

when a girl is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.
when a girl isn’t arguing, she is thinking deeply.
when a girl stares at you, she’s wondering why you’re lying.
when a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever!
when a girl texts you everyday, she is seeking for your attention.
when a girl say i love you, she means it.
when a girl says that she can’t live without you, she has made up her mind that you’re her future.
when a girl says "i miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than her.

" if you can make a GIRL laugh - you can make her do anything." - Marilyn Monroe