KeViN turned 15
i’ve watched u since u’re a baby….look at u now, ur 15 and growing up to be a fine young man. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, son! i love u so much!
Archive for February, 2006
pirated this from someone
else blog… la lang…natawa lang ako… can hardly smile nowadays kasi.
Ways To Make A Guy Smile
1. Tell him
he’s fine or sexy (not beautiful or gorgeous).
2. Grab his
penis at any moment…even if its just for a second.
3. Lick his
nipples.
4. Don’t
leave him long voice messages.
5. When he’s
upset, suck his penis and tell him how much you love it.
6. Recognize
the big things…they usually mean the most.
7. Pick him
over all the other guys you screw around with.
8. Write him
checks (he loves them).
9. Introduce
him to your hot girlfriends…as your out-of-town, well-hung cousin.
10. Play
with his penis.
11. Suck and
tickle his balls, and play-joystick with his penis.
12. Sit in a
movie theater and mess around.
13. Don’t
bore him with senseless banter.
14. Let him
fall asleep in-between your breasts.
15. If he’s
mad at you, fuck him.
16. Ride him
like a bull.
17. Bring
him beer and chips.
18. Treat
him like he’s the shit when his friends are around.
19. Don’t
look up when you’re going down.
20. Let him
take as many pictures of you naked as he wants.
21. Wear a
white shirt with no bra in the rain.
22. If
you’re in love with him…don’t tell him.
fEb fOuRtEen O-Six
today is Valentines Day… thought its gonna be a special day… di naman pala… sleep na lang ako… tomorrow will be another day … maybe a better day than today.
How We Postpone Happiness - by Barbara De Angelis
"It is easy to be mindless in America, because dreaming of and
living for a better tomorrow is the American way.
The problem is, we have
gotten so good at living for tomorrow that most of us spend very little time in
the present. We prepare for our careers, we prepare for the holiday season, we
prepare for our retirement – when u add them all up, we are preparing for our
life to be over.
The problem with being so good at living for the future
is that we get in the habit of not being
in the moment, so when those wonderful events we’ve planned for actually
occur – the vacation, the promotion, the party, etc. – we have no idea how to enjoy them; then we
wonder why we are left feeling so let down, so unfulfilled.
In America,
our culture values doing, not being. We have been concerned with
quantity rather than quality, with the stimulation of constant activity rather
than substance. We often judge ourselves and others on what we have
accomplished, rather than on who we are.
We told ourselves that if we had the car, the house, the
color TV, the right job, we’d made it. Our heroes became those people who had
most. Our values focused on things. Our
goal was having and accomplishing instead of living.
This “consumption consciousness” inevitably turned us
into experts at postponing happiness. We work hard, or allow time to pass, and
eventually, what we thought would make us happy occurs. We finish school, or
lose the weight, or buy the house. Then, we wait to overcome with joy – and we
are disappointed. We may feel a sense of
satisfaction, but we don’t feel happy.
Slowly, many of us have begun to suspect that something
is wrong, that the kind of dreams we’ve been following have delivered us into a
spiritual and emotional dead end: We have been substituting the possessions we
collected and the goals we achieved for real moments, and in spite of it all,
many of us are not happy."
aLL aBoUt HIM
The
average male is about 5’9” tall and weighs 162 pounds. Chest: 38”. Waist: 31”.
He
doesn’t have cellulite.
He
is more likely circumcised.
More than 9 out of 10
men say they would like to change something about their appearance.
1
out of 2 would like a trimmer waistline.
Nearly
1/3 would consider plastic surgery. 1 out of 5 would change his nose.
45%
like how they look naked. Nearly 60% like how they look dressed.
Most
wish their penises were larger.
66%
say they are happy.
Men
most often describe “a man” as someone who’s self-assured, autonomous and in
control.
In a
survey about TV advertisements, most men rated feminine hygiene commercials as
their least favorite.
Nearly
30% of young men could not name one situation that would lead them to enlist in
the military to fight in a war.
Slightly
more men approve of legalized abortion than women do.
Roughly 50%
of men believe that a man should be able to prevent a wife or girlfriend from
having an abortion.
Men are
more likely than women to lend money to a friend.
Men
commit suicide 3 times more often as women.
Men
account for more than 85% of worldwide arrests for drunkenness, drunk driving,
gambling and drugs.
When
angered, men are four times more likely than women to commit an act of
violence.
In a
survey of male college students, 15% said they might commit a rape if there is
no chance of getting caught.
Men
prefer a woman with a body like Kim Basinger’s, rather than one with Dolly
Parton’s (ideal body type:5’4”, 121 lbs., medium-sized breasts).
3
things men notice fist: woman’s body, her face, how she dresses.
Nearly 3 out of 4 men
prefer a woman’s skirt to be at or above the knee.
Traits
men admire most in women: intelligence, sense of humor, and gentleness, sex
appeal ranked 6th.
50%
of men surveyed about reproduction could not correctly define ovulation.
Men
hate it when women withhold sex, are self-centered, moody, abusive and
unfaithful.
Most
men find it easier to express their feelings to a woman than to another man.
Majority
of men expect to get married someday.
Most men
see living together as a step toward marriage.
Most men
feel that sex after marriage is less exciting than sex before marriage.
54%
of men feel that a man’s most satisfying accomplishment is fatherhood.
Men
prefer male bosses.
The
“dream” job most cited: having their own business. Top runners-up: professional
athlete, head of a large corporation, forest ranger, test pilot, rancher, race
car driver.
Top
of a man’s basic needs: a woman.
MeN, MeN, MeN
Q: What does
it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A:
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why do only
10% of men make it to heaven?
A:
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Q: How do you
get a man to stop biting his nails?
A:
Make him wear shoes.
Q: what do you
do with a bachelor who thinks he’s a god’s gift to women?
A:
Exchange him.
Q: What should
you give a man who has everything?
A:
A woman to show him how to work it.
Q: What’s the
smartest thing a man can say?
A:
“My wife says…”
Q: Why did God
create man before woman?
A:
Because you’re always supposed to have a rough draft before creating Your
masterpiece.
Q: Why do
female black widow spider’s kill the males after mating?
A:
To stop snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men
need instant replay on TV sports?
A:
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Q: Why is
psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already
there.
GuYs RuLeS
I wonder why my hunpie
redirected me this email the other day.
"Subject: Guys
Rules
- Learn to work the toilet
seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. - Sunday sports.
It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. - Shopping is NOT a
sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. - Crying is
blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it! - Yes and No are
perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. - Come to us with a
problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy
is what your girlfriends are for. - A headache that
lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. - Anything we said 6
months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null
and void after 7 Days. - If you won’t dress
like the Victoria’s
Secret girls don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. - If you think
you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. - If something we
said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one. - You can either ask
us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If
you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. - Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials. - Christopher
Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. - All men see in
only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. - If we ask what is
wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing’s wrong. We
know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - If you ask a
question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. - When we have to go
somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine…really. - Don’t ask us what
we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. - You have enough
clothes. - You have too many
shoes. - I am in shape.
Round is a shape! - Thank you for
reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that?
It’s like camping."
I’m sure the above statements gave my hun big laughs
when he read it. Hmmmmn… possibly the motivation why he forwarded me the mail
is purely – just to give me bigger
laughs. Hmmn… no further comments. Ayoko ng away. Lols.
FeBrUaRy 3, 2006
the day Keziah received Jesus Christ.
Redemptorist Shrine, I.C.
